Palyne

Archived from the former firedocs blog. 29 June 2006

It’s just too mushy to believe. And so . . . metaphysical! I apologize in advance for any hard-headed, no-nonsense viewers this post sends screaming into the night.

An interesting thing happened during Emotional Sequencing (pre-session intro) last night. And in the session that followed, I had an interesting experience that was difficult to articulate. No wonder. It is not normal to experience “being” a tornado, as a very unique creature. One can do little but personalize it in human terms! The session was imperfect (though had good data too) but that was my inability to translate, articulate, communicate. On feedback, I understood. My target contact rocked.

I suspect the pre-session insight and session as ‘confirmation’ may change a lot about my viewing. I feel that in my genuinely good-intentioned quest of self and universe to find some answers, I may have actually found something that has meaning to me.

I was intending to go through the common emotions for E.S. and it just… worked way better than expected. Along the way of feeling wonder-anticipation about the session, and determination, and humor, I had another new feeling appear inside me spontaneously, evolve into a whole new perspective, and it just … carried me away!

The feeling up first was respect. This “bloomed” like an inner flower into a full acknowledgement of the target. Our own thoughtform definition as far as “inclusion and exclusion” goes, yet still its OWN thing of a sort. An identity of its own. Sort of. Not exactly self-aware, but aware.

Those feelings brought the understanding that a session explores a relationship between the viewer and the target. It then pulled in more of the respect, added a hefty dose of “fond appreciation,” and a warmth spread from my chest as if my heart chakra were ‘blooming’, and suddenly I was perceiving the target as Sensei. Great respect for the honor of the relationship, for the opportunity to learn. The most astounding perception was this concept that it was agreeing to teach me. A mutual relationship.

Yet even as I marveled at this rather offbeat way of looking at it, a complete reversal of the normal me-as-centric, I realized that this is the most fundamental truth of a session: that I want to learn about it, of it, and from it. What makes me think that process would be all about me? And not equally about IT? The fact that “it” was something I’d been granting all the sentience of a postage stamp five minutes earlier did not escape me.

For years, I have had only two things I considered “givens” based on all my experiences over time. The rest is variable for me. These two things are not.1. All things are composed of consciousness (which is energy which is inherently aware as a property which even when not self-aware is still awareness).

2. All things long for evolvement (via absorption of energy which is power which is like food which causes growth which is evolution).

These have been the core “understandings” I’ve held about reality for years. How could I have forgotten?

How could I have not applied this to Remote Viewing?

Here’s a thought. What if when we miss a target, I mean really miss it—when we are literally “off target” (as opposed to misinterpreting or miscommunicating data from the target, which is different)—what if it’s because the target at that moment does not choose to share itself with us? I’m reminded of the spoon-bending efforts, the feeling-for-permission activity, the shouting at it. We are trying to convince it? IT? Are we suggesting that a spoon has consciousness? If so, it’d seem a given that entire targets of information do. So what if it says “no”? Can we force it? Yes I believe we can, just like I can go dump chemicals on my plants/soil that will force bloom even if it is inappropriate timing for them. But maybe it takes extra effort and “Will” to succeed at the forcing when there is nothing “mutual” going on. Why make it harder than it needs to be? Isn’t RV inconsistent enough without working against the universe?

Back in 1996-7 I had a dream where a target and I were having what felt rather like a dance. As I slowly awoke, a voice said to me, “It images itself for you.” I put that on the front page of Firedocs RV because it struck me as so profound, and because at the time, it felt like the target and I had this relationship that I can only compare to lovers getting to know each other. As if I were a man and the target were a beautiful woman who deep down, really wanted to show herself, really wanted to be fully known, really wanted to be admired, really wanted to have the full uninhibited ability to interact with me without reservation and have me appreciate and delight in every part of her. Whether it’s RV, dowsing or anything else, would it help to enlist the assistance of the others involved? That would be… the target, since that IS the other party involved, right? But we’d have to recognize the target as having some consciousness in order for this to happen. As long as we treat targets as if they’re as unimportant and assumedly-dead as used chewing gum wrappers, we’re unlikely to be granting them the kind of respect that would breed a good relationship and rapport.

Later when I thought about it, writing an email to a friend about this, I realized just how shallow the common perspective really is. The RV framework, in the process of getting rid of the religious and mystical garbage (and thank God for that, pun intended), seems to have gone to the other extreme. Maybe it is the element of having scientists and soldiers in a culture of consumers and corporatism, that set the “tone” for perspective and exploration, but it seems to me now, that our perspective is so… shallow and limited. Typical of the humans we are, with RV we act just like we do with anything else. Going in and taking what we want, with no regard to what is right for balance, no respect for our relationship with anything else–we cannot even recognize such relationships exist, because we don’t grant sentience to anything else!

Information as a Natural Resource

We expect to know the target because we want to. We insist. Because it would be convenient and fun for us to have this power of insight. Because we want to harvest the information as a resource. Mostly, because we CAN. So… the same logic we used for everything from stealing land to polluting rivers we use with RV— no matter how cosmic it might seem, no matter it’s all about “consciousness,” we don’t seem to have any change of perspective for RV. We’re human, we want it, so we take it, and we don’t even think about the details. I am not saying we have been unkind to the universe via RV. I am just saying we are clueless and missing out as a result of the viewer-as- sole- participant- in-session perspective. The ignorance may affect our results. I suppose the reason this subject doesn’t come up in the context of RV is because we do not for a moment expect that the target has anything to do with it. ‘Cause it’s all US, you know? Gosh, the universe revolves around humans, what else exists, let alone matters?

Amazing, really: you take the one niche group of people who ought to MOST respect the “consciousness of the universe” and they treat targets—whether people, animals, locations, events, or any combination of things—like “inanimate” objects. (Don’t get me started on how inanimate objects are ‘composed of consciousness’ as well; they are not self-aware, that much is a given, but that doesn’t mean they have no awareness that contributes to the mix of a given environment, or that contributes to the conglomerate of a target-identity. You can certainly share the awareness of an inanimate, I’ve done it. Spontaneously, never mind many times during RV.) We don’t see a target as “a conglomerate of consciousness.” As something we should respect, something we are interacting with, not just observing. One experienced viewer even told me that interacting with the target data was “incredibly dangerous” and should be avoided. Maybe so. But maybe being a genuine student of the universe means something more to me than RV on the surface does. The session that followed knocked my socks off. I am certain I could not have experienced that if I hadn’t been willing to grant some degree of awareness to the target itself first.

So in the end, I had a question: what am I missing? How is my thinking limited or incorrect?Love was the answer.

Maybe not the only answer, but one that I feel really opened my eyes… and heart.

Somehow, I think for a lot of people into viewing, this is just not going to be possible for them to get their brain around. I think it will sound too new age, too airy-fairy. I am usually the one saying viewers should not “project” their performance details onto taskers, analysts, and a variety of other things that we use as excuses in our field; that viewers should take total responsibility. But responsibility for my role, does not mean invalidating that anything else exists to mutually participate. Some people use the ‘you create your own reality’ concept to invalidate the universe around them as merely a projection; others use it to validate the universe around them as a delightfully creative canvas of self they get to interact with. I’m in the latter group, obviously. Most viewers have read that book “The Conscious Universe.” Most viewers if questioned would be perfectly happy to say, that consciousness permeates our holographic universe, whatever. Yet I don’t see or hear that armchair theory “rolling down into” perspective or theories or hands-on application or discussion.

What difference might it make in our physical world, if man began working with nature, with all things as deserving of respect, with the earth as a relationship?

What difference might it make in our psychic world, if we did the same thing?

“If you love it enough, anything will talk with you.”
– George Washington Carver

This makes the second time that shortly after a sense of genuine merging with a target, I was promptly a total bitch to one of the people I love most, finding anything they said no matter how innocent or kind to be irksome, and doing my damnedest to piss them off. Which they buy into as much as I do, when we should both know that after viewing that has that feel to it, I really shouldn’t be communicating with anybody.

I feel almost like… like internally, I recently molted. Haha. You know how snakes (I adore reptiles) are always so cranky when they just molted, their skin is new and tender. I feel like that except internally. Like I have shed an old skin of self, and there is something that is “of me” and yet new there, and it’s very hypersensitive.

Anything that has the slightest disagreement with me, even if I myself share that perspective as well!, seems like a major threat to be defended from, it’s ridiculous.

Oh well. The side effects are part of the learning I guess.

***

Later: so I fell asleep and kept dreaming that somehow, whenever someone found out that I was actually merging with a target and not just describing it, that I was totally rejected. Then I had several dreams where someone else was in that situation and I saw how others reacted to them when they found that out. I woke up apparently having barely breathed for a few hours, severely oxygen deprived (I breathe far too shallowly when I sleep already), and had to sit against the wall for hours breathing deeply before I fell asleep again.

But it suggests to me that I obviously have some “issues” with this whole subject.

So last night, in part to redeem myself from a lousy session at starlight, I did three 15 minute practice sessions with envelope feedback. I forgot how much I enjoy doing that, and I want to do it daily if I can. Truly, 15 minutes IS enough unless you’re really in deep at the stopping point. When I do the time limit, it forces “what is important” to come through because I am not giving my mind the opportunity to make it take me an hour of pleading, basically. It has 15 minutes to show me what it can do and then time is up. The sessions went ok.

Tonight I fell asleep when I sat down on my bed to do the exercises. Hazard of having no non-bed place to do viewing I suppose! After I woke up I decided to do three more sessions, two exercises and one for my daily tasker that is overdue.

The first session went ok. Not great for translation but decent for contact. It was lava taking over a street.

The second session was very odd. Much more of this and I’m going to get a real reputation (ha). From the first moment I had “intense” feelings, and I got that it was a woman, with something in her hands, having those emotions, and feeling doomed, and like everything she knew, her whole foundation had crumbled under her and so on. I actually AOL’d (without comment in session) the target itself!, as it’s one that is also in the TKR Practice Studios/Galleries.

There was this odd component in the session though. This is a little embarrassing to admit, but it happened so there it is.

I could see this sort of light-thing, a sort of ovoid shape, sort of floating, hovering, a bit in the air, but I wasn’t sure if it was real or not. I mean I knew I perceived it, I just didn’t know if it was ‘real’ in the same way that everything else was. Later, when the light-thing came back and I perceived it more clearly, I described it as:

Like a star, but a shade(ghost) combined. A soul???

I was about to ask for more factual data, and remembered that my time was running out and I had not yet let the target give me whatever data IT wanted most to share. That is part of the Archetype-RV experimental method I’ve been working on; it’s a mutual thing, the target has equal rights, and in exchange for helping me perceive that info, I also let the target choose some of the info I get. And what I got was –

biological lifeform that was here
lacks metaphysical closure.
(e.g., trapped soul)

I then had this ‘burst’ of plenty of impressions, all far too nebulous and fleeting to record, I was out of time and I ended the session.

So after each session, after I muse on feedback a bit, then I go back to talk to the archetype of the target, and I tell it how great it did and thank it and all that. But this time, I felt this odd sense in my heart chakra, and then it sort of bloomed into this incredibly gushing wave of “compassion” for this woman.

I called on Archangel Michael, and asked him to please give the woman peace and merge her with that light, her soul, and during this I had the sense that I had to really “hold the line of intent and will” about this, just hold on. So I was doing this, and really holding hard to the ‘attention and intent’, and then I had the most INTENSE body-feelings.

My heart chakra bloomed like it was the size of my body. I got fuzzy-buzzy intensely all through me from head to toe. My head actually went back and my mouth open, in sheer awe. This lasted less than 20 seconds. Then it “resolved” was the feeling and I felt a little odd for a few moments, and then it passed and I felt really calm. Like it was ok now and she is at rest.

Like wow, man. (Session here.)

I felt a little bit stunned, to be honest, but I needed to move on to my next session. I actually felt that I probably shouldn’t be doing another one, just because the one prior, I’d really tuned into “her feelings” and didn’t feel fully free of that yet, and also because of the experience that came after, I felt like I probably needed some time to integrate what just happened. But hey, I was overdue, so I went ahead into the next session, even though I had the lurking suspicion that one way or another, there was going to be some side-effect from doing this while still a little in the throes of the previous experience.

Could have seen that train coming a mile away, right?

So I get that the next target is a man… and this sense of a dynamic (meaning usually motion) of a circle or circles… both of which it turns out are correct. But apparently now my brain was utterly tuned to the weird (”You’re listening to 101.7, K-astral, rocking the universe!”) so even though I had enough data to figure it was a man and there was some motion involved, I shortly (remember these are pretty short sessions!) had the sense that he was dead now. Which was correct.

Now if I were coaching myself and had half a brain I would go into that session and say, “Yes perhaps, but ‘now’ is not the target’s timeframe, the time-point is at the time of the photo or tasker intent.” But nooooooo, since I was in session, this “shift” into being more interested in the target AFTER he was dead than during the target point was smoooth and I didn’t even notice it. Possibly like the 2nd session on the Chernobyl target, I unintentionally retasked myself… that’ll teach me.

I kept getting this overlay. Like it was one person and yet two. Shifting back and forth. The man says to me, “I used to BE somebody!” and I sense he is just a man as I know them, but then I also have really weird overlays of egyptian and lots of “death” symbolism and some man with his eyes painted who is somehow also him.

After the session, I mused that perhaps IF — while we’re flying around totally without any rational feedback here, why not?! — IF a person’s soul (or whatever you want to call it) has more than one identity strongly (like the way Seth perceived “Rupert” more strongly than “Jane” when communicating with her), then if you are focused on the “them that they are after death,” perhaps you’re getting the larger dose of their soul, and perhaps more than one identity could be involved.

When I got more than one data-symbol related to eye/eyes I figured I was dealing with identity (that is just a strong “I” symbol even in metaphysics).

So, I focused in, intensely feeling that I really wanted to “experience whatever the target wanted to share.” This was followed by a really ineffable feeling, I can’t put it in words, but I spontaneously sort of bellowed in mind,”I mean, what will FIT through me!” (and then laughed at myself). Like I had a ‘burst’ of stuff that was just way too much for me.

And then I felt like I just… hang on, I’m serious… like I just absorbed into my body… a man. THE man. I felt like we were merged like an energy envelope, and like he was looking through my eyes, except it wasn’t him, it was more like…

A me + him² = NewMe.

I sat there for awhile, feeling as if, well, maybe I was different now. I felt different. And then I thought well maybe I need an exorcist. And then I thought well maybe it was destined to be this way: I mean, that my destiny in the future actually counted on the ‘addition of him to my conglomerate’ at this point.

And then I thought to focus on “how he felt that was different from me:” Older. Calculating. More socio-political smart. A sense of strength. A strong sense of self. I aol’d this latter point as possibly royal or somehow different from me in a way hard to understand — it felt clear that he had had a lot more “power” than I have, over people, over larger situations, etc. Through all this I was getting the overlay of ‘the man’ who was ‘also’ the ‘egyptian guy’ too.

I didn’t want to share my session with my tasker. It was so weird that I felt like, “Well maybe I am hallucinating!” And I thought, “You know, maybe the target is a a boat or something, how the heck would I know, I probably made it up.”

On another level I thought, “You’re in denial.” But I do denial so well–why stop now. In the end, I decided I really don’t choose to share that session with anybody, not that this writeup doesn’t have far more info than it does of course.

The target was Steve McQueen. A man. Who was famous. But is dead now.

Whether his soul also had an Egyptian identity will have to be one of those “non feedback” points.

Well, it’s all very cosmic and stuff, but…

…NewMe still has to work for a living, so I gotta go to bed now.

Edit to add a P.S.: I know this is a personal blog, designated for ‘metaphysics and weirdness’ and such. But still, I just can’t get over feeling like any minute now, someone in the RV field is going to be going, “PJ absorbed Steve McQueen! Hahahaha!” and I’m going to feel like the biggest idiot alive. Sigh………!

Once in awhile I have a spontaneous experience where, for anywhere from 2 seconds to 15 minutes, I simply ‘am’ someone else. I’m sure I cannot describe this in a way that could make anybody else understand how utterly real-and-literal this is. The people are just… normal people. I believe they are real people, alive in my world, during my time. Why I tune into them, I don’t know; once in awhile I can track an interest in my life to it but usually it’s pretty spontaneous and inexplicable. This is prone to happen when I’m a bit trancey, or on the edge of sleep (…but awake), yet it’s not a dream. Whether it’s real I cannot prove, but it’s real to me. It’s given me some pretty radical changes in perspective and a lot of food for thought.

If a human body (let alone a human being on some larger or more cosmic measure) is really just energy, then who is to say that identity must be hard-edged? If I ’share energy’ with someone, for example as part of sex, have we just become a part of each other in some fashion? What kind of effects might that sharing have, psychologically and spiritually? Does mere intent to share do it? Am I also just a little bit merged with my closest friends and family? How much of each person’s identity is actually a conglomerate of energies and shared-identities that they aren’t even consciously aware of? If your ex-lover is still ‘a part of you’ on some psychic level, is that still affecting people?

In a shamanic sense, all this stuff is a given, a no-brainer, a ‘yes of course’. But in the psychic worlds, most people have a hard enough time getting around a few basics. They often don’t have a tendency to “follow logic to its natural conclusions” and see what the beliefs they already hold would actually entail.

Do you suppose we are drawn to certain people, at certain times, in the same way we are drawn to crave a food for its vitamins? Because we need to absorb a little of them—-I assume there is some ‘trade’ usually—-for our health, or our balance, or our ability to hold a certain focus?

So when you make a decision in your life… and people come pouring in—old friends, old faves, people you didn’t know well till suddenly, and more—does it reflect that on some level you have ‘called them in’? Or could it be that those you slightly-overlapped with in some small way, even unknowingly, are ’sparked’ by your change, called to attention?