Palyne

As my Christmas movie today–I know it’s an odd choice, but it’s the movie I received for Christmas–I watched “Gladiator”.

I have a different view about films than many. If it’s a drama–and I don’t watch many of those, perhaps because of this–I take it very seriously. Like reading a book, I can be “lost in the world” of my fiction for hours, sometimes even days.  I remember as a teen, I once finished a book–I think it was ‘Dune’ or perhaps ‘Perelandra’ at that time–and my father said in confusion, watching my near-trance philosophical approach to every motion, “Are you on drugs??” I just laughed. “Who needs drugs?” I said wryly. “I just read a book that really makes me think.”

I still have that reaction. ‘Wheel of Time’ hasn’t had a new book in a long time, so it’s been awhile since a book moved me that deeply. (I did see yesterday in the store that Neville’s “The Eight” has been re-released in paperback. I’ve given that novel to many friends over the years, so I found that interesting.) Movies can have the same affect upon me as books.

Read the rest of this entry »

I will probably never understand any of this.

In my case study Bewilderness from the 1993-1995 era of my life, I talked about meeting the various ‘identities’ which were ‘a part of me’, and our merging together on occasion. I called them ‘the four elementals of soul.’ I didn’t really understand it then, and I still don’t understand it now, I can only report on the experiences. Now I call them ‘The Four’ for short. I am one (the 4th) of the four. Or at least, I am part of it; it’s a larger awareness. I sometimes am able to tune into it. Read the rest of this entry »

Archived from the former firedocs blog. 05 May 2007

I went to see the movie “NEXT” tonight. The story is about a man (Nick Cage) who can see the future. But only 2 minutes into the future. He’s had the ability his whole life and is extremely deft with its use… while he works as a stage magician at a small casino in Vegas. Worth seeing. Action film, of course!

The last couple days I’ve really been focusing on viewing and “thinking” in the model of viewing. Working on integrating what I am doing. The archetype approach to RV puts a bit of a different slant on the mental model of it all. It’s much more of a “relationship” — with the target; and because the target is part of me, because everything is, with myself.

I had three pretty decent sessions in the latest model (see the myPsiche blog for notes on the protocol). And then I did a fourth that had a rather unusual outcome.

***

The first thing to note is that the session, compared to feedback, has nothing to do with it. At least, unless there is some kind of odd fish-like creature being mined (on a very small scale) on Ganymede and we don’t know about it, which is assuming quite a lot, suffice to say my session was simply off-target. The focus of feedback was it in space of course, so I believe that should have been my viewing perspective. Instead I had some tiny group of people ‘visiting’ solely for the purpose of catching some kind of bizarre heavy flattish fish through ice. Oh well.

I keep the target woven with me during feedback and my notes, and when I saw the feedback, which looks like a dead grey moon, I sighed. I explained to the target, in my head, that obviously we were both wrong, because look here, this should have been the target and perspective.

The target archetype, however, disagreed.

Now, I’ve sometimes had targets during session interact with me. I’ve had archetypes and aspects interact with me. But this is the first time I’ve ever had a target archetype actually communicate with me somewhat directly — let alone AFTER the session. And argue!

It’s not too hard to figure out why it never happened before: first, although I began doing archmeds prior to session eons ago, I never before had a mental model that had this “interwoven me + target- archetype” model before, so that the target could communicate with me (as opposed to me just getting impressions from it during session).

Secondly, I didn’t until now have a model where I kept that weave together during feedback and notes, before asking inner-guide to de-weave us.

The archetype, just like any other archetype in a meditation except this was more real-time real-world, conveyed something that I translated as, “a big hunk of dead rock does not accurately summarize me.” He actually seemed slightly put out! Not an emotion, just… well it’s too subtly ineffable to put into words I guess.

My curiosity was piqued. I felt the archetype wanted to go back into our session model where I let it show me what IT thinks is important to communicate. Yet the session was over. I already had feedback. Anything after that point would just seem like imagination frankly.

But this kind of communication isn’t one-way. It’s not a superior, controller kind of thing. It’s a mutual friendship. It’s a teamwork relationship. So, I was game. I figured, I missed the target obviously, it’s already a write-off, this is just experience for fun. Bring it on babe! I just sat back and closed my eyes and literally grinned with the humor of it all.

A big ocean wave crashed down nearly upon me, and then went past, as if I were virtually right beside it. Water everywhere. Swells of the water everywhere, and another wave building. Whoaaaaaa…. I said out loud, opening my eyes and leaning forward a little. That was terrific! Certainly way more “you are here” than any of the session, for sure.

I leaned back and closed my eyes again, and as my head bumped the wall a bit, I felt as if it bumped something hard — and I was lying on my back on something hard, looking up at the sky, surrounded by water, water literally everywhere as far as the eye could see. The sky was grey. The water didn’t have any particular color that I noticed either, at least not from the angle I was seeing it. No, I didn’t see any fish, no birds, no people, no typical ocean scene data — but definitely more than enough ocean, and tidal pull on it, clearly.

So…. obviously, you are telling me that you have ocean, I said to the target archetype. That’s terrific. Then I found myself ‘flying over’ something. It was land, but… well not like anything I’ve seen before. Imagine, ok, that you are over a really huge system of canyons. Now imagine that the canyons are unusually… well, somewhat more parallel than they normally here, and of dark rock. “I want to go down there,” I said to the arch, and my perspective went down, down, really deep, to the bottom of this unbelievably deep canyon. I just stood there at the bottom, looking up, utterly marveling at the sheer enormity of it.

I opened my eyes and changed position. If my RV were that experiential you couldn’t keep me from it nearly every waking hour. Well, sometimes it is — but not often, for sure that it is in the minority. What is this, I asked myself? This is imagination? Look at the picture. It’s a moon. It’s dead. And yet…

At that moment, I was having a ‘mutual experience of equals’ with the target, summarized energetically as the archetype. At this point, I didn’t just feel humor and good natured willingness. I felt love. I imagined blending warm golden energy into the archetype. You are so beautiful, I told it. Not the tale of someone moved by a visual. The heartfelt gushing of someone whose love for someone makes them beautiful. I felt nearly overwhelmed. Ganymede had ceased to be a target or an archetype to me and had become a legitimate entity in its own right. And I was in love with it.

I sat staring into space for a little bit.

I wanted more feedback. Not because I wanted to see if my experiences were possible. At that moment, it would not have mattered if there was a planetary survey as detailed as Google Earth of the thing contradicting me; I felt I’d just had a personal conversation with the planet-as-identity itself and I wasn’t in doubt about it. I just wanted to know more about it, the way you would want to know more about a person you met and were crazy about.

Of course, I told myself, this is blowing protocol.

“You already wrote it off as a totally missed target,” part of me thought drily. “How much worse can it get?”

I decided my previous three sessions were solid and factual enough that on this one, I would sacrifice it and do something I so rarely do: go get additional feedback. I wanted to know more than a picture of a moon from space. Anything. So I google’d it: Ganymede. I went to the first link that seemed a science site.

There were several pictures, a couple animations, a supershort video, an audio recording of some frequencies, etc. I looked at a couple of pictures. Yep, the same ‘dead moon’ as we see pictures of from our own. I feel the target, woven in with me still. Observing my feelings, and what I observe. I look at another photo, this of a rather bizarre sort of dark striped terrain. I realize: That must be the canyons. and I feel the target’s interest. And suddenly, it hits me, and I’m so astonished –

– I had thought of the target showing me itself. I had thought of sharing with the target the process. I had thought of all kinds of things. But I had never once thought of me showing the target how my people perceive it. I had thought of translating from the target into my perspective. Never of translating from my perspective FOR the target! For some reason I was kind of blown away by the concept. Like the whole viewing process but in reverse!

I very slowly viewed the next picture. Got the big resolution one. Slowly scrolled, to show the whole thing. Feeling as if I had become exactly the “universal translator” or “psychic library card” that I had previously referred to: where the target, acting like a remote viewer, perceived its target, which was how-we-perceived-it in our reality. I felt like I was taking it on a sort of tour. I was a tour guide of how earth people perceive it. I got kind of anthropomorphic then to be honest. I quietly said out loud the various text notes, as if to bring them more fully into me so it could grok them, and I really focused on all the information so the transfer would be as clear as possible.

The stats on Ganymede were surprising. It’s nearly 2.5x the size of earth. It has a small magnetosphere and it appears to have even a very small possibly oxygen atmosphere, though this is still theory. In fact it has everything that would qualify it as a planet, except that it orbits jupiter instead of the sun.

It is said to be greatly covered by water-ice. I don’t know if this means it could have oceans, or only ice. I’m here to tell you that experientially, I think it has at least one genuine, definitely liquid-form ocean. But the only feedback I have says the planet is covered with ice. Which means the feedback contradicts my experience.

Being the logical, careful about protocol, practical kind of viewer I am…

…I choose to believe my experience over any amount of feedback. HA HA HA.

And wouldn’t you know, out of that four session block, three of which were good, one of which was excellent, the experience that would move me most would be the one that was NOT remote viewing and had no feedback. Sigh! Is that predictable or what? Oh brother.

Back to practical things now.

So last night, in part to redeem myself from a lousy session at starlight, I did three 15 minute practice sessions with envelope feedback. I forgot how much I enjoy doing that, and I want to do it daily if I can. Truly, 15 minutes IS enough unless you’re really in deep at the stopping point. When I do the time limit, it forces “what is important” to come through because I am not giving my mind the opportunity to make it take me an hour of pleading, basically. It has 15 minutes to show me what it can do and then time is up. The sessions went ok.

Tonight I fell asleep when I sat down on my bed to do the exercises. Hazard of having no non-bed place to do viewing I suppose! After I woke up I decided to do three more sessions, two exercises and one for my daily tasker that is overdue.

The first session went ok. Not great for translation but decent for contact. It was lava taking over a street.

The second session was very odd. Much more of this and I’m going to get a real reputation (ha). From the first moment I had “intense” feelings, and I got that it was a woman, with something in her hands, having those emotions, and feeling doomed, and like everything she knew, her whole foundation had crumbled under her and so on. I actually AOL’d (without comment in session) the target itself!, as it’s one that is also in the TKR Practice Studios/Galleries.

There was this odd component in the session though. This is a little embarrassing to admit, but it happened so there it is.

I could see this sort of light-thing, a sort of ovoid shape, sort of floating, hovering, a bit in the air, but I wasn’t sure if it was real or not. I mean I knew I perceived it, I just didn’t know if it was ‘real’ in the same way that everything else was. Later, when the light-thing came back and I perceived it more clearly, I described it as:

Like a star, but a shade(ghost) combined. A soul???

I was about to ask for more factual data, and remembered that my time was running out and I had not yet let the target give me whatever data IT wanted most to share. That is part of the Archetype-RV experimental method I’ve been working on; it’s a mutual thing, the target has equal rights, and in exchange for helping me perceive that info, I also let the target choose some of the info I get. And what I got was –

biological lifeform that was here
lacks metaphysical closure.
(e.g., trapped soul)

I then had this ‘burst’ of plenty of impressions, all far too nebulous and fleeting to record, I was out of time and I ended the session.

So after each session, after I muse on feedback a bit, then I go back to talk to the archetype of the target, and I tell it how great it did and thank it and all that. But this time, I felt this odd sense in my heart chakra, and then it sort of bloomed into this incredibly gushing wave of “compassion” for this woman.

I called on Archangel Michael, and asked him to please give the woman peace and merge her with that light, her soul, and during this I had the sense that I had to really “hold the line of intent and will” about this, just hold on. So I was doing this, and really holding hard to the ‘attention and intent’, and then I had the most INTENSE body-feelings.

My heart chakra bloomed like it was the size of my body. I got fuzzy-buzzy intensely all through me from head to toe. My head actually went back and my mouth open, in sheer awe. This lasted less than 20 seconds. Then it “resolved” was the feeling and I felt a little odd for a few moments, and then it passed and I felt really calm. Like it was ok now and she is at rest.

Like wow, man. (Session here.)

I felt a little bit stunned, to be honest, but I needed to move on to my next session. I actually felt that I probably shouldn’t be doing another one, just because the one prior, I’d really tuned into “her feelings” and didn’t feel fully free of that yet, and also because of the experience that came after, I felt like I probably needed some time to integrate what just happened. But hey, I was overdue, so I went ahead into the next session, even though I had the lurking suspicion that one way or another, there was going to be some side-effect from doing this while still a little in the throes of the previous experience.

Could have seen that train coming a mile away, right?

So I get that the next target is a man… and this sense of a dynamic (meaning usually motion) of a circle or circles… both of which it turns out are correct. But apparently now my brain was utterly tuned to the weird (”You’re listening to 101.7, K-astral, rocking the universe!”) so even though I had enough data to figure it was a man and there was some motion involved, I shortly (remember these are pretty short sessions!) had the sense that he was dead now. Which was correct.

Now if I were coaching myself and had half a brain I would go into that session and say, “Yes perhaps, but ‘now’ is not the target’s timeframe, the time-point is at the time of the photo or tasker intent.” But nooooooo, since I was in session, this “shift” into being more interested in the target AFTER he was dead than during the target point was smoooth and I didn’t even notice it. Possibly like the 2nd session on the Chernobyl target, I unintentionally retasked myself… that’ll teach me.

I kept getting this overlay. Like it was one person and yet two. Shifting back and forth. The man says to me, “I used to BE somebody!” and I sense he is just a man as I know them, but then I also have really weird overlays of egyptian and lots of “death” symbolism and some man with his eyes painted who is somehow also him.

After the session, I mused that perhaps IF — while we’re flying around totally without any rational feedback here, why not?! — IF a person’s soul (or whatever you want to call it) has more than one identity strongly (like the way Seth perceived “Rupert” more strongly than “Jane” when communicating with her), then if you are focused on the “them that they are after death,” perhaps you’re getting the larger dose of their soul, and perhaps more than one identity could be involved.

When I got more than one data-symbol related to eye/eyes I figured I was dealing with identity (that is just a strong “I” symbol even in metaphysics).

So, I focused in, intensely feeling that I really wanted to “experience whatever the target wanted to share.” This was followed by a really ineffable feeling, I can’t put it in words, but I spontaneously sort of bellowed in mind,”I mean, what will FIT through me!” (and then laughed at myself). Like I had a ‘burst’ of stuff that was just way too much for me.

And then I felt like I just… hang on, I’m serious… like I just absorbed into my body… a man. THE man. I felt like we were merged like an energy envelope, and like he was looking through my eyes, except it wasn’t him, it was more like…

A me + him² = NewMe.

I sat there for awhile, feeling as if, well, maybe I was different now. I felt different. And then I thought well maybe I need an exorcist. And then I thought well maybe it was destined to be this way: I mean, that my destiny in the future actually counted on the ‘addition of him to my conglomerate’ at this point.

And then I thought to focus on “how he felt that was different from me:” Older. Calculating. More socio-political smart. A sense of strength. A strong sense of self. I aol’d this latter point as possibly royal or somehow different from me in a way hard to understand — it felt clear that he had had a lot more “power” than I have, over people, over larger situations, etc. Through all this I was getting the overlay of ‘the man’ who was ‘also’ the ‘egyptian guy’ too.

I didn’t want to share my session with my tasker. It was so weird that I felt like, “Well maybe I am hallucinating!” And I thought, “You know, maybe the target is a a boat or something, how the heck would I know, I probably made it up.”

On another level I thought, “You’re in denial.” But I do denial so well–why stop now. In the end, I decided I really don’t choose to share that session with anybody, not that this writeup doesn’t have far more info than it does of course.

The target was Steve McQueen. A man. Who was famous. But is dead now.

Whether his soul also had an Egyptian identity will have to be one of those “non feedback” points.

Well, it’s all very cosmic and stuff, but…

…NewMe still has to work for a living, so I gotta go to bed now.

Edit to add a P.S.: I know this is a personal blog, designated for ‘metaphysics and weirdness’ and such. But still, I just can’t get over feeling like any minute now, someone in the RV field is going to be going, “PJ absorbed Steve McQueen! Hahahaha!” and I’m going to feel like the biggest idiot alive. Sigh………!

Once in awhile I have a spontaneous experience where, for anywhere from 2 seconds to 15 minutes, I simply ‘am’ someone else. I’m sure I cannot describe this in a way that could make anybody else understand how utterly real-and-literal this is. The people are just… normal people. I believe they are real people, alive in my world, during my time. Why I tune into them, I don’t know; once in awhile I can track an interest in my life to it but usually it’s pretty spontaneous and inexplicable. This is prone to happen when I’m a bit trancey, or on the edge of sleep (…but awake), yet it’s not a dream. Whether it’s real I cannot prove, but it’s real to me. It’s given me some pretty radical changes in perspective and a lot of food for thought.

If a human body (let alone a human being on some larger or more cosmic measure) is really just energy, then who is to say that identity must be hard-edged? If I ’share energy’ with someone, for example as part of sex, have we just become a part of each other in some fashion? What kind of effects might that sharing have, psychologically and spiritually? Does mere intent to share do it? Am I also just a little bit merged with my closest friends and family? How much of each person’s identity is actually a conglomerate of energies and shared-identities that they aren’t even consciously aware of? If your ex-lover is still ‘a part of you’ on some psychic level, is that still affecting people?

In a shamanic sense, all this stuff is a given, a no-brainer, a ‘yes of course’. But in the psychic worlds, most people have a hard enough time getting around a few basics. They often don’t have a tendency to “follow logic to its natural conclusions” and see what the beliefs they already hold would actually entail.

Do you suppose we are drawn to certain people, at certain times, in the same way we are drawn to crave a food for its vitamins? Because we need to absorb a little of them—-I assume there is some ‘trade’ usually—-for our health, or our balance, or our ability to hold a certain focus?

So when you make a decision in your life… and people come pouring in—old friends, old faves, people you didn’t know well till suddenly, and more—does it reflect that on some level you have ‘called them in’? Or could it be that those you slightly-overlapped with in some small way, even unknowingly, are ’sparked’ by your change, called to attention?