Palyne

This probably won’t be the last time I do a body med and have no idea what the heck it is, hence my adding a number to the title. That used to always be the case, that I didn’t know.

For years I could not hear my guides. I could see their lips moving, isn’t that hilarious, but I could not hear them. Now they won’t shut up. (Just kidding. Sort of.) Today when I asked Tek what this was he tried to tell me. I could feel that I was blocking him.

It SO bugs me because I don’t know why. I mean seriously, who cares? I had already DONE the meditation, it was over, so why not know what it was? Why would my psychology block that? God only knows. Anyway so today it was a mystery.

I was sitting in my rocking chair again, waiting for the slab bacon to finish baking, since I had already finished the marinade for dinner’s Pork Loin Rotisserie. (Apparently today is eat-a-pig day. I’m sorry, pig.) I had no idea how much longer the bacon was going to require cooking because I was cooking twice as much as usual at a lower temp than usual.

Me: Self, how much longer till the bacon will be done?

Self: About 8 minutes.

(Me to myself: why did I never before think of just asking myself such things??)

Me: Tek, I have 8 minutes. Do you have a med that can fit in there?

Tek: Yep. (He instantly starts putting stuff in front of me.)

I’m sitting at a table with him standing near me, and in front of me on the table to the left is a small soft object. I can’t decide if it’s irregularly shaped or the vaguest bit rounded-triangular in 3D. It looks like it is covered with greasy grime of some kind. But at least nothing is growing on it. So the disgust level is not too bad but it’s not super pleasant, either.

To the right on the table is what looks like a silver hair pick, the kind with about 8 tines in a row. In school the kids with afros used to just stick them in their hair and leave them there (which I found hilarious. I wondered what would happen if I went to school with a hairbrush stuck in my hair one day. I didn’t think anybody would get it. Or they’d kick my ass if they did).

Me: Tek, surely you cannot mean for me to spear this little thing with that tool but I can’t think of any other way to use it on it.

Tek: The tool is for later.

So I started to pick up the little mucky thing and then stopped.

Me: I’m going to add gloves and so on here…

Tek: No. You need to touch this.

Me: You’re kidding! Aren’t you the guy who once forced me to wear a hazmat suit during one of these?!

Tek: That was something different. You need more of a connection to this.

Me: Oh brother. Ok fine. I’ll have one hand that has no gloves. Maybe just the fingers. Maybe — oh hell {on sensing “that look” from him}, FINE THEN.

So I pick it up in my hands and visualized that I’m holding it gently over a sink running the cleansing water of life and I work on rinsing it off. It takes a bit and I have to gently rub it all over to get the stuff off. Finally it’s clean.

Me: What do I do with it?

He takes it from my hands and then he and I are someplace else. He hands me the silver tool and points upward. I look straight up, craning my neck back in a way, and I see there is this long … damn. Shapes are hard to describe. Imagine something about four inches wide that is just like some kind of layer of something and it’s slightly irregular but long in shape, like 4 inches by a few feet.

(You understand my perspective is all over in these. It could be microscopic, really.)

Tek: You need to break up the surface covering that area first.

So I took the tool and did tiny little pokes, very completely across it, and I brushed all the junk off that I’d broken up. Then I imagined some forced air cleaning it off really well.

Tek: There are actually tiny little tubes of a sort, in just the shape of your tool, that go into this. You can’t see them well because they are clogged. You need to gently push the tool all the way into those holes to help clear them out inside.

I felt around. I could feel them more than see them. I set a tool-guide visual that when my tool was precisely in the right place it would ding and light up, and then I would gently push it all the way in and pull it out again. These things were maybe half an inch apart and it took awhile to go through the whole length of that region. Then I did another forced-air and then a water of life pressure wash to make sure everything was clear. I went through all the junk and made sure it was fine-particle size, imagined lightning frying it all into “inert” chemically, then dumped it in a waste bin.

The thing above me now was more dark fleshy pink colored than it had been and seemed like it would be sort of … exuding something from the other side of it to this side, like a long flat-tube-ish area just dripping something into the area where I was standing from tiny little pretty regularly-spaced holes.

Me: So what’s the little thing I washed got to do with that area up there?

Tek: It deals with what comes in from up there.

Me: What is that thing, and this area?

Tek: {I see his lips moving but can’t get the concept or word. Damn!}

Body: Eight minutes are up! Your bacon is done.

I leap up and walk to the kitchen and open the oven. It’s perfectly cooked. Way to go.

PJ
.

Apparently this is what happens if you just ignore archetype meditations altogether for awhile. The mountain comes to Mohammed.

*

I was relaxed but not at all asleep when Tek showed up. Tek is a ‘body-archetype’ I guess. Times when I drop into this “white lab area” to work on stuff related to my body, he’s the technician. But it’s usually a matter of me going there and there he is. Never have I seen him anywhere else — let alone in my awareness when I am not meditating at all. But there he was.

And suddenly we were together somewhere ‘else’. In the ‘else’-place, there was what I thought was a big wall, but then realized it was a big object of some kind, I was just seeing a part of it. The wall was lightly covered in places, and super densely in others especially nearer the top, with these darkest-brown “nodules”. They felt like spherical barnacles.

I had the feeling that whatever they had begun as, attached in a tiny piece but added to it and grown, it had been “alive”. Not alive like a full life form, but like… like molecules and cells felt a bit more alive than they normally do to me, and they were as much alive as anything else at that level.

He pointed and I followed his focus. A wave of nausea passed through me, which is pretty common for body-cleaning areas he focuses me on. I could tell that the surface of this wall/object was normally firm but soft/flexible. But where the nodule/barnacle/sphere-things were present, it seemed to be firmer (most of it), and where they were denser especially around the top, it got stiffer until in the areas where they were super dense, the entire area just seemed really thick, rock-hard and encrusted.

That didn’t seem like a good thing at all.

Tek handed me some kind of tool. It looked like a kitchen implement but nothing I’ve seen before. It was silver and was a group of strong straight wire-like things with blunt ends, bundled together at one side with a handle, with the middle one sticking out more than the others. I had the feeling I was supposed to do something with this, like use it on the nodules. Maybe to pry them off, I thought, though it wasn’t clear how that shape would apply to such a thing.

“I’m falling asleep,” I observed, in some apology to him because that meant my awareness would be checking out any time now. He just stepped back as if to leave, and then said as he vanished, as if oh-by-the-way: “That’s your liver.”

I was so interested in that I knew, blessedly, I would remember it. Then I fell asleep.

I forgot about all this until this evening. I was sitting in the rocking chair holding my cat Lina, relaxing while my rotisserie cooked a few chicken breasts. I couldn’t think of anything I felt less like doing than concentrating on disgusting things in my head, at that moment, but I didn’t have any good excuse for NOT doing the med as I sat there doing nothing else of value.

So I dropped back into the ‘place’ I’d been with Tek. Called The Angelics, the ‘archetypes’ of Angels, who showed up and both placed one hand on a shoulder blade behind me. They don’t give energy but they ’share guidance’ is the best way to put it.

I called Inner Guide (IG) and asked for whatever archs she thought needed, and I brought in Sun (and held him tight for awhile) and Responsibility as my standards. She brought in Venus and Mars, although I was baffled at what they would have to do with this kind of thing.

I didn’t know where to begin though, and finally had the presence of mind to ask IG for whatever archetype could best help me work through this meditation. Then I wondered why I never thought to ask for that kind of archetype before. Too obvious, maybe? It was an ordinary guy who I was super comfortable with.

*

He thought maybe I should start in what seemed like a corner sorta. It wasn’t, it was just the positioning of the object (which was about 3x as big as me in that perspective), but it was at the very top, the hardest area, that made sense. I took the tool, turned it this way and that and said, “This is just not really made for this.” I imagined a short sword, then worried about hurting the organ itself, so I changed the blade to something like my very thick, tough silicone spatula that I use for everything in the kitchen — as a turner, a scraper, a stirrer, sometimes even a knife for soft things.

I started trying to slide the blade under the heavy crusted nodules but they seemed literally attached. I mean like some part of them… bit into or attached to actual cells of the organ. Like how barnacles I think can slightly soften the rock or something (I could be wrong about that). He said, “No reason not to try the standard archetype process.” So I imagined the water of love and chemical of love and special-barnacle-peeling-gel-of-love hahaha. Then I had the idea for lightning and I psych’d myself up for it, and then imaged a flood of lightning flashing through me and specifically electrifying all this junk and ’separating’ it in a flash from the organ.

Then I went with the short-soft-sword all around the organ. I pried off all this stuff, and it wasn’t that hard to pry it off as I thought it would be. Just a lot of it was all. I got the entire object done except one small spot on the other side that had some kind of problem and I had to say I’d come back to it; it felt like in that area, there was actually an erosion, an eating-away-spot gouging out a small area.

I had intentionally imagined a ‘catching’ area for all the massive crap I was hacking off. Looking down, it was like one of those rooms full of balls that kids jump in, except everything was in varying shades of brown and yucky. Tek suddenly showed up at my right.

“That’s what the tool is for,” he said, motioning to all the stuff. “You need to break it up into tiny pieces. We don’t want to release this like it is into the body.”

So I went through first and ’stabbed’ all of the nodules so everything was broken up into chunks. Then I went through, imagining it moving impossibly fast, and broke everything up like a whisk of sorts, until everything was a fine-granuled particle. Then I visualized dumping it all into a big sealing trashcan that would take it straight to ‘waste disposal’.

*

I almost forgot, then I went back to the spot that had some kind of problem. Up close, it looked like something had been ‘eating away’ at this tiny spot. I finally, with the arch’s guidance, decided to disassemble the cells all around and inside that area, a bit like cutting out the rotting flesh in a way but gentler, and got that made inert and broken up and in the waste. Then I poured energy into the ‘healing’ of that area from inside and out. In the end it was still vulnerable and I imagined some kind of good-cells that would cover it like a bandaid patch while it totally healed and got its natural shape back again.

*

Tek said that went just fine and he has more I could do if I were willing. I said ok then. Sure why not. I’m really working on supplements and reading on biology and more lately, so it’s sensible I’d be tuning into body-stuff.

PJ
.

In hypnosis, an ‘abreaction’ is what I was taught to call the spontaneous muscle spasm jerks that the subject (person being hypnotized) sometimes would display — these can be anywhere in the body, but usually occur solar plexus or lower. The idea is that when this happened, it was a subconscious “rejection” of the information that was being processed at that moment. You’ve heard the slang phrase “a knee-jerk reaction” — yes. Basically that sums it up.

In psychology official, abreaction is “the release of emotional tension achieved through recalling a repressed traumatic experience.” Its definition indirectly or directly implies that this recall is via ‘words, behavior, or imagination’. Nowhere does it suggest that “spontaneous muscle spasms” qualify for the term, though I suppose they do. For whatever reason, the MDs and PhDs that ran one of the places where I studied hypnosis used that term for that effect.

Abreactions were not uncommon, in fact they were pretty much the norm. Where, how often, how extreme, etc. they might be depended not just on the person but on the subject matter, and I assumed, the degree of belief system issues they were having with absorbing suggestions directly. If one line of suggestion was meeting regular abreactions, the result wasn’t likely to be good; best to take a different tact.

At one point, I started studying people around me whom I was not hypnotizing, and came to the interesting conclusion that perhaps many people abreact quite a lot in fact. But it’s such a small thing, few of us even notice it. We haven’t been trained to do so, to pay attention to that kind of thing, to have any idea it might mean something. So in a way, our body is constantly talking to us, we just don’t hear it.

Of course, muscle spasms do also happen for musculature reasons that are not necessarily related to any deep psychological meaning. Sometimes a muscle is just a muscle, you might say.

Just to be clear, I am NOT talking about major, charley-horse type spasms. Those issues can be caused by low magnesium/potassium/calcium. This is something I know too much about, as every time you shift suddenly to low-carb eating, you drop all the artificial ‘bloating’ your body holds in order to process carbs. The sudden drop in water/glycol bloat washes out a lot of those minerals temporarily and if you are not supplementing with them, ‘charley horse’ spasms in legs/feet for a short time are not uncommon. That is not the kind of muscle spasm I am talking about.

The kind I’m talking about range from barely perceptible even when you’re looking for them, to a major “jerk” of the whole body. They range from a ‘twitch’ you don’t notice to such a wild spasm that you forget literally everything in your head at that moment.

In archetype meditations I have often run into abreactions. The most difficult meditations I’ve ever done have always been accompanied by plenty of abreactions — often instantly when a certain idea, image or concept comes up. Here’s a few quotes from old blog posts here to give some real examples of how this comes about. I admit I don’t usually make a note of it except in the more extreme cases, but it’s not an uncommon thing in more minor degree.

Adjustment, Take II
The moment I arrived and took IG’s hands–already my mind trying to escape–and begged her to help hold my attention there, I began abreacting. Muscle spasms went crazy. [...] Every few seconds I would abreact somewhere. It is very obvious I have a severe problem with this archetype but I can’t really figure out why. [...] My mind wandered. I held my mind fiercely and my body spasmed so intensely I forgot who the hell I was for a moment. But I began again. And again. And again. And…

A Heavy Issue, Take I
I looked over at the playing cards moving around in the air beside us. I tried to ’see’ one clearly. I had a flash of something..
Me: Wands.
My right leg spasmed violently.
I closed my eyes and waited, like in RV, for the next data point.
Me: Red. Feet? Seems like feet or print of feet, but also red.
Both of my legs spasmed more violently.
Me: Horse? I think.
My entire body spasmed wildly.
Me: For godssakes! And won’t THAT meditation be fun I bet…

A Heavy Issue, Take I
I thought that sudden memory was IG giving me an answer. So I said, “OK, I want to meditate on “my problem with extra bodyfat” now.”
I sneezed violently.
I said dryly to IG, “Well that’s gonna be quite the meditation I bet.” IG seemed amused, in a good way, the first time I’ve got that sense from her.

Knock Knock, Neo
I’m having a lot of abreactions still. And I’m starting to forget stuff almost immediately after doing it, which makes blogging it even more important I guess. I must be working on stuff heavier duty than I realize. [...] I said to him, “I’m having constant abreactions but only in my right leg. The calf, the knee and thigh. None anywhere else. Why is it that I am reacting here to you?” And the arch said, “Why don’t you do a meditation on the archetype of your right leg.” I was dumbfounded. I never thought of meditating on a body part. And yet if our body is manifest energy, and a core part of us, and our memory and so on is throughout our body, then surely every part of the body is a primal part of us. Surely every part of our body has a great deal of symbolic and literal meaning.

Most interesting to me, as it is not the only time this has happened to me — is this one:

Arch-Dreams and Chaos
I started abreacting. I would have a thought or start an arch-dream and my body would jerk violently in one place or another, mostly lower body. I could literally feel it this time, as if energy-which-is-also-information were trying to run through my nervous system, but blocks were “shunting it off” with muscle spams. It got more severe. At one point, I found myself in this arch-dream and I went, “Hey! Hey, I remember this now! This is where I was last night! This–” and an abreaction so severe that my entire body spasmed wildly hit me. I forgot everything except that last thought. But at least it made me realize that I didn’t just pass out in the middle of a thought last night; I was doing “something”, I just don’t remember what.

So I re-read that last clip above not long ago and I thought, Hey wait a minute. That’s a big neon sign, isn’t it?! This is exactly what I should be meditating on — ask IG for “whatever that is”. If it is so severe that it knocks you unconscious when you’re meditating yet wide awake, that it later gives you such severe abreaction you forget everything in your head related to it instantly, then this is definitely something that needs attention.

But I felt fear the moment that concept hit me. I could feel it in my torso, from my solar plexus down to my groin, like a meta-physical “ghost-feeling” energy of sorts. Which tells me that yes — definitely I need to meditate on this. But more importantly it also tells me that this — this fear, this passing out — I see it as a symptom ‘related to’ the severe bodily-abreaction. Which sort of corresponds with what I have “intuitively felt” when having abreactions before, many times in fact — that it is a “shunting off”, from the nervous system I believe, of the ‘energy’, basically “not allowing” it to be processed through the body — and, I have a couple of times ’sensed’, that it is literally traveling through the body and up to (or returni
ng to) the ‘brain’ area but it’s never making it that far; the body is kicking it off the path before it can get there. So the mind cannot ‘think’ about it because ‘the thought never reaches you’ you might say. You could call it denial but this is happening at a body/subconscious level before that energy/info ever has the chance to even make it into your processing mind.

To a vastly lesser degree — but still worth noting — I sometimes abreact in Remote Viewing sessions as well. I seem to do it more when dehydrated. I seem to do a lot more when there is a great deal of trauma in the target, in fact, if I’m doing a target and abreacting all over the place I know it’s going to be a ‘mass trauma’ target (eg a photo of the immediate aftermath of — while still pulling survivors and bloody victims out of rubble — some massive disaster, e.g. a major earthquake). When people are dead already, or when it’s just something explosive, or when it’s long after or before the disaster or not with a focus on humans, I don’t get it so much. But when there is a mass number of humans in great drama/trauma/death all at once in a target, I am likely to either bluescreen the entire negative or have a terrible problem with abreactions (and getting data at all, as a result, since my body is throwing most of it off the line!) during session.

I know this is boring (my readers are already snoring) but I think this is important.

It’s important to RV because if abreacting does indicate a rejection of energy/information, it would matter to figure out how to work on that after or during the experience, to try and clear that out.

It’s important to meditation because if we learn to notice such things about our bodies, we learn more about ourselves. This ties into a recent thing too. Not long ago I blogged:

Body Talk
…during the meditation I had a sudden ‘twinge’ in my left foot. Of course when you meditate you get all kinds of distracting body sensations, little pains, etc. But because I was at that moment pouring energy into an archetype (to no particular effect), without thinking much about it, I shifted and for a few moments, was pouring the same kind of energy-intent into my foot where it had the painful little twinge. And I got a *major* rush, body-wide. I was astonished. It made me realize that when we are meditating on something, body stuff isn’t just a ‘distraction’ — it’s energy acting-out, it’s communication or at least warning sparks — and THAT is exactly where to focus. I mean, that’s what pain is about: saying, “pay attention to me!” And all this time I’ve been taking this no-mind meditation approach toward it — rather than the active-meditation format I actually use — I’d been working to ignore that kind of thing. Once I realized that my body could talk to me and that energy with my body was as much a part of the meditation as the other things, that seemed to come and go for awhile, as if my body was as delighted as I was that I had learned a few simple words of its language.

It isn’t just abreactions. It’s any ‘body response’. It’s like we are meditating and we want to talk with our subconscious, and our body IS our subconscious in manifest form, and every time it says something to us we go, “Shut up. I’m ignoring you because I’m meditating to talk to my subconscious.” Sheesh!

I guess it just seems to me that paying more attention to things like abreactions and sudden pains etc., may be a great deal more important than I have previously considered. Maybe when I get a serious abreaction I should actually meditate ON the abreaction.

Previously when talking with IG about remote viewing and inaccurate data, she suggested that I work directly with the problem data (after feedback) to clear/straighten out that energy in myself. We shared a kind of visualization of these vertically suspended ’strings of energy’ that had bends, stiffness, knots, frays, etc. (this representing, literally or figuratively, energy-issues with certain data) and basically rejuvenating all those strings so they would be clean, supple, strong strings of light. And then that this could be done pretty quickly, en-masse, and I imagined them all together in a group over a star-trek style transporter pad, and the energy just going through them at the quantum level and reorganizing them cleanly according to their true pattern and getting rid of interference etc. I’ve wondered if one could do this before feedback or even before the session–if we can psychically know the target, why could we not know what data points we’re going to have issues with?–and if that might help as a process ritual to ‘clear out’ energetic problems ahead of time.

Well along the same lines, maybe I should be doing that kind of “reality med” — what I call very brief shape-visualization-based meditations — on every serious abreaction, pain, itch, etc. that I might get during meditation or remote viewing.

If nothing else I am going to make a point to pay a lot more attention to this now, and to ‘allow’ my body to use this as a kind of communication. Maybe ‘itch on my left foot’ is like a task number, a ‘directive’ to pay attention to that energy (whatever it might be) at least for a moment. Maybe abreactions are just a big arrow to what we resist, refuse, etc. and great strides could be made by specifically meditating on the parts of our body that abreact, hurt, etc.

PJ
.

Had some time this evening. First time that I have not been profoundly sleep deprived, and had at least an hour to myself, in longer than I can even remember.

I decided to do some meditating.

First I roll out my world as usual and am reminded–I’d forgotten–that for some reason, a staunch tree grew on my plateau near where I appear. This plateau is super high, nothing but rock and wind, but there it is. It is amazing to me that despite I’d consciously forgotten about this, it’s like the thought form has its own coherence. I couldn’t remember what/why it was there, if I ever knew. I finally decided a tree wouldn’t be a bad thing after all; I mean symbolically it seems ok; so I poured some energy visualization into the overall setting to make it nice for me and IG to meet there. I thought since I meet her under a tree — albeit some distance away, and through a cave, and out into a subworld — that maybe this was a sign I should just do the work here instead.

So I meet IG and after some rapport tell her just whatever she likes, everything I most need to work on, let’s do it.

The first archetype med had me opening my eyes and I was floating in space. This is rather different. Ahead of me is what looks like some kind of gas-cloud constellation, as well as tons of fragments of stuff that looks like everything from asteroids to some distant planets and some moons and even space junk of some kind. The territory this spans is just VAST, and I stare at it and ‘feel’ it in some awe.

I think for awhile about what I can do, how I can share energy with anything this vast, how to work with this as an archetype. I finally decide that I just have to relax and allow myself to ‘fill’ that entire space and my energy to permeate through every object and the space itself, and I imagine myself becoming vast and one with all of that and I get lots of ‘rushing’ energy feeling so that seemed ok. Tons of spontaneous yawning, I get that when doing energy stuff like this at times.

I ask her for something else when that’s done, whatever she wants. I wasn’t even surprised that she gave me another guide and I think I had the feeling that was going to happen before I even asked. This one wasn’t human. It was one of those 50 foot tall egyptian-like statue-entities. Except I didn’t have much egyptian overlay, that’s just the only model I have for those entities in previous experience. Go figure. He tried to tell me his name but I couldn’t quite get it. In the end I had something like two words, like Hot (pronounced haute or hote) and something else with a few syllables. None of it ever worked out fully so I finally shrugged and dropped it. No idea what he deals with. He took up position behind Jared & El Nino who are right behind me. Had some energy in that one as well.

Then I remembered the binding meditation and I went to the room where we’d imprisoned that part of me and just totally absorbed her and allowed her to absorb me and focused on sending energy through the heart chakra and feeling love and oneness and that we would work it out, whatever her issues might be. That was some nice energy too and seemed to work.

Then I dropped into the ground and went down, while a part of my mind played this tiny video like a map that showed how as I went down into the earth I was moving down my brainstem in literal focus somehow. (Don’t ask me to explain that, I don’t know what it means, unless it’s the obvious.) I called for Tek though the room was a bit different, and the angelics who came and put a hand on each shoulder blade behind me, and asked to deal with whatever body thing needed it. The entire room was promptly utterly covered with brown to black thick runny yuck stuck to every millimeter of floor, walls and ceiling. Really gross and pretty archetypal I guess. I’ve had something akin to that before though not that scope of it.

I first imagined that the whole floor was a grate and under it was the body’s waste disposal system. Then I visualized a vertical wide-spread hose sprayer that got from roof to wall to floor and in several feet and then imagined I was gradually spraying all the way around the room. It was taking so LONG. I reminded myself how I’ve been told the ’sense of how long it takes’ depends on me and my acceptance of it mostly. I worked on believing that it could happen much vaster and still be effective and finally got the entire room cleaned out.

Then I went to see the four and hugged my mate really tight repeatedly, and presented to the royalty of The Senior and The Queen, and then we merged.

Then I hugged/shook hands with various guides around me and tried to merge with a few of them.

I told IG I’d be willing to do a dreamlets series but it didn’t come. Then I ended up spacing out a little.

It’s the first meditation of any kind I’ve done for quite awhile. I miss me. I miss meditating. I must return to that.

PJ
.